Hi everyone! Welcome for Part 3 of this series! If you have missed any of the series, then go to the page on my blog that says BLOG SERIES cause you may not be able follow along as I refer to different things that may be from the former series.I’ve had much of this written down for weeks and I can’t wait to share this with you! So let’s get started! 🙂 (Also any experience is welcome, I’m just writing down what I’ve heard and believe on the subject as I said earlier.) 🙂
So many of you know that there is basically a friendship or an introducing before officially courting someone. However long the friendship is, it may be one or two weeks or so. But,there is a time where you’re either introduced to a certain young gentleman or gents to a certain young lady before you two officially start courting.Or whatever way you may meet.
The friendship is basically to find out basic things about the person and if you two would be compatible. Certain things like the following will make themselves known during this stage, “Does he have a true relationship with Christ?” or “Is he only the flirting type?” Or “Is he someone who looks as if he’ll be someone who would be a good husband for you?”
Prestage to Friendship-BEFORE FRIENDSHIP THERE’S FELLOWSHIP: Fellowship doesn’t really last as long with some couples so I’ll not dwell long on this. Say for instance a person may introduce you two to each other and you may never have seen each other before but this might be the first time that you’ve met. So maybe you shake hands and exchange pleasantries like,”Hey, how are you? ,What’s your name? ,What state are you from?, Where you do attend church?” Little stuff like that I guess. You can fill in the blanks if you want. You’re basically finding out if this is the one God has ordained for you! You may see each other a couple of times at church,work,or you both fellowship in your youth group but nothing’s been really set in stone as of yet. This pre-stage to friendship it may progress or it may not. It may the case of, “Oh, I know a really good girl that I work with or go to church with that may be good for you! You want to meet her?” Something like that. It may get serious in the Friendship Stage or it’s just the case of the person is really searching out the other person to see if there’s anything there to pursue seriously.
(I don’t believe in speed dating in any way,but the pic. above demonstrates that while in the fellowship stage, you’re asking different questions about this gentleman or visa versa. The purpose of this is that you NEED to find out if God is their all and all. Sometimes you may not even have to ask them straight out but is their everyday life bearing fruit of what their mouths are testifying? Also, if you find out there’s something there that isn’t what you’d want in a godly husband,you have the right to either keep pursuing this relationship or not. It’s your choice! )
STAGE 2: The Friendship
Let’s say that maybe you both go to the same church or you may even work at the same place and you both go to different churches or what have you. Or maybe, he’d just met you and really likes fellow-shipping with you because you’re different from all the other girls. There’s something special about you. What to do? Well there are two ways you can approach this situation. For the young woman’s part you aren’t or should I say you shouldn’t be the one to start or keep the relationship going. That may shed the wrong light on you as young lady and the gentleman may get the wrong idea. Which would be because the woman is not to pursue the man but the other way around.
The BEST thing for the young lady to do is to PRAY AND SEEK GOD FIRST and let God handle it.Like you can say, “Dear God, I really,really like this young man and he seems to be nice but he hasn’t noticed me so far or the relationship may not going any farther than I would like. If it be your will, please work out something to let me know if it’s you or not. Remember, the knowledge from God will be on both you and the boy/man’s end. God will let you both know! Don’t go for the one-sided “revelation”. For example, if you’re having a relationship and the young man may come up to you and say, “The Lord told me to marry me. Would you be my wife?” Please don’t fall for that! I beg you. If this is from God, God will let you and the man know and it’ll not be one-sided! Trust me on that one! 🙂
It’s good to pray about it because some friendships are started the wrong way and it could become a friendship with benefits and, that’s something which is NOT WHAT WE AS YOUNG CHRISTIAN SINGLE WOMEN WANT OR NEED!
WHAT WE AS CHRISTIAN SINGLE WOMEN NEED TO KEEP IN MIND IS THAT, WE DON’T NEED TO DATE JUST DATE. WE DON’T HAVE TO DATE JUST BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE AROUND YOU SAY THAT THEY ARE DATING AND ARE HAVING “FUN”. ENTER INTO THE COURTSHIP, THE LORD WILLING, WITH A PURPOSE. COURTSHIP IN MY OPINION IS THE PURPOSE OF POTENTIALLY OBTAINING A HAPPY CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE. ANYTHING THING ELSE MIGHT GET A PERSON IN SOME SERIOUS TROUBLE.
Say also there’s a young gentleman as well,and he may be interested in you but he doesn’t know if you’ll like him or not. If he’s really serious about meeting you and starting a relationship, then he would be man enough to ASK your father,guardian or someone like your pastor or someone who knows you real well for their permission to pursue a relationship. Well, let’s just say you finally get to meet one another and you introduce yourselves to each other and you both meet the families. Everything’s casual and nothing is really set because you basically are still trying to learn one another.
You may see each other at church and you may have just that open relationship were you may talk about the word or something like,”Hey, some of the youth group is going out for pizza. Do you think you can be able to make it?” Remember this friendship can be done in groups and is very casual because the gentleman should see if there’s anything there that he wants to continue pursuing. In this stage, you’re never by yourself with one another cause you’re in groups or just sitting at the table together with the family having dinner.
Young women while this friendship is going on, it’s very good to be observant about how he acts and how his family acts. It’s best to have your eyes wide open so that you’ll know what you’re getting into if you’re interested for the relationship to keep going. Most of the time how his family acts might very likely how he would act.
So the boy and girl are still interested in each other and they know a little bit more about each other. They’re comfortable around one another now it’s the time for the gentleman to act and ask for permission to officially court the lady. If your father or guardian sees that this young man is serious and he doesn’t have evil intentions, they’ll give him the go ahead to enter into courting seriously.
I’ve always believed and still believe, that we should be married to our best friend. That way we should know each others weaknesses and failures but still come out stronger than before.It has to be someone you can’t live without or he can’t live without you. I can’t explain it but I believe God has a way of showing us the “ONE”.
If a person isn’t really compatible with you, then you should seriously check it out before things are really serious. Like I said before, if a man is constantly abusing you whether physically or emotionally in the relationship, I CAUTION YOU TO RUN! I promise you that you won’t be able to change him after marriage unless by some miracle. But it’s best avoid it before being deeply involved. So with that being said, we’re ready to go into the next stage, and that’s Courtship! 🙂
Stay tuned for part 4: Courtship! 🙂
(Pics from Pinterest!)